Leading and Love

A good friend of mine said the following to me:

Most, if not everything, I have accomplished so far in my life was conceived in my mind at a previous time - both good and bad. My spouse’s character, my career, my relationship with my children, and so on. The bad stuff I didn’t conceive as they were. But because I wasn’t able to properly evaluate myself and capture my true worth, I made questionable decisions. To counteract, I changed environments and set boundaries. Now that I am in more control, the challenge is believing in the impossible stuff and holding on to them until they happen. I’m usually better off when the evidence is available beforehand. I have to verbalize what I want, and continue to embody what I perceive to be true. I have to keep saying it over and over. I have to put it in words that I understand. I have to know what it means in case I paraphrase it, that way I don’t lose the meaning.

Idea #1

We affirm what we want to become. 

We do this purposefully or subconsciously. If you are eager about something then it might be all you ever talk about. Similarly, if you are concerned about something then it might dominate your conversations. If you are someone who gossips, then your circle will only engage in superficial conversations with you. If you are someone who listens effectively and provides constructive feedback, then others will pour their heart out to you. The things we affirm about ourselves shape our perception and guide our behavior.

Idea #2

We become what we affirm. 

If you have ever uttered the phrase, “Why am I such a failure?”, then you have most likely failed to deliver the next thing you were working on. It’s understandable that you are looking at the result of several attempts and drawing this conclusion. But you should notice that you have told yourself to reduce your level of effort for your next opportunity. You might be looking for your next career move, but you haven’t even gotten a response from any of the previous thirty applications you have submitted. Saying you are a failure means you probably won’t modify your resume or seek help in reformatting it. Saying you are successful means that you will ask your coach to help you refine the sequence that helps you get to your highest shooting percentage spot on the floor.

Quote #1

“Live the Life of Your Dreams: Be brave enough to live the life of your dreams according to your vision and purpose instead of the expectations and opinions of others.” - Roy T. Bennett

Quote #2

“When I feel threatened, vulnerable, or insecure, whether it from simply walking into a room of unknown people, meeting someone for the first time, an unexpected or expected confrontation, or doing something new, I affirm in my mind (over and over): There is no danger, there is no threat. From there, the discomfort lessens and I become open for discovery and adventure.” 

- Charles F. Glassman

Quote #3

“Affirmations do not create magic, but they are good to remind yourself that you’re doing great, and it can create a positive mindset.” - Pooja Agnihotri

Challenge

Write down five things that you want to be true about yourself.

Affirmation

I will replace any negative self talk with positive self talk.