Leading and Love

Leadership

The Human Experience of 'Stuckness'

No matter how talented, experienced, or driven you are as a leader, at some point in your leadership journey, you’re likely to feel stuck. As an organizational psychologist and licensed

mental health clinician, I have observed many of my clients across sectors feeling stuck, and I have experienced it myself.

Sometimes it’s hard to name your experience. You may feel a subtle but persistent loss of self, meaning, or direction. Like there’s an emptiness where your spark used to be. The things that once brought you joy or clarity now feel abstract or irrelevant. You might feel like you’ve stopped growing as a leader, like you’re just going through the motions. You used to know what to do, but now you’re overthinking everything or doubting yourself.

What Is Leadership Stuckness?

Let’s explore what leadership stuckness is. It’s not just a bad week or a rough quarter. Leadership stuckness refers to a psychological and behavioral state in which a leader experiences diminished clarity, motivation, or forward momentum despite ongoing responsibility and activity. It often shows up as emotional exhaustion, cognitive paralysis, disconnection from purpose, and repeated use of ineffective strategies in response to complex, adaptive challenges (Heifetz & Linsky, 2002; Seligman, 1975).

It’s important to distinguish stuckness from burnout or incompetence. A leader who is stuck can still appear externally competent and high-functioning while feeling deeply blocked or

disengaged inside. This misalignment often surfaces when the leader’s mindset, identity, or emotional resources no longer fit the demands of the moment (Boyatzis, Smith, & Blaize, 2006).

From a clinical lens, stuckness is often rooted in learned helplessness, which is the internalized belief that effort no longer leads to change (Seligman, 1975). It can also resemble trauma

responses, where the nervous system defaults to freezing, leading to avoidance and emotional shutdown (van der Kolk, 2014). Stuckness is not a personal failure. It’s a signal that the current way of functioning is no longer enough.

The Consequences of Leadership Stuckness

When stuckness goes unaddressed, it doesn’t just affect how you feel; it affects how you lead and the systems around you. Over time, it can lead to emotional exhaustion, strained relationships, impaired decision-making, and stagnation (Maslach & Leiter, 2016). Stuck leaders often become more reactive, withdrawn, or risk-averse. Innovation slows, and team morale dips. The slow erosion of meaning, motivation, and self-trust can quietly reduce performance and leadership presence (Boyatzis, Smith, & Blaize, 2006).

Why Leaders Get Stuck

Let’s talk about how we get here. Stuckness builds over time, often quietly, as your internal resources get depleted while external demands keep rising. Here are five patterns I see most

often: Over-Identification with the Role Some leaders don’t just do the role; they become it. Their self-worth becomes entangled with their title or performance. The stuckness in this occurs when your identity becomes so tied to your role that any challenge or failure feels like a personal threat. You start playing it safe, fearing judgment, and resisting necessary change (Kets de Vries, 2006).

Emotional Suppression and Capacity Overload: Leaders are often expected to be composed at all times. Chronic emotional suppression leads to a backlog. The stuckness in this occurs when unprocessed emotions dull your motivation, cloud your judgment, and drain your capacity for empathy and clarity (Boyatzis, Smith, & Blaize, 2006).

Learned Helplessness from Repeated Resistance: You’ve tried to change systems, lead

differently, or set new boundaries but nothing seems to work. The stuckness in this occurs when repeated setbacks condition you to believe your efforts are futile. You withdraw, not out of

apathy, but out of discouragement (Seligman, 1975).

Lack of Psychological Safety for the Leader: Even leaders need space to say, “I don’t know”

or “I need help.” The stuckness in this occurs when the pressure to be perfect forces you into isolation and silence, creating a lonely performance instead of a connected practice (Edmondson, 1999). 

Purpose Drift: Amid deadlines and metrics, it’s easy to forget why you started. The stuckness in this occurs when you lose connection to your values and vision. Without purpose, leadership becomes mechanical and meaning fades (George et al., 2007).

Evidence-Based Strategies to Get Unstuck 

Getting unstuck isn’t about doing more. It’s about shifting how you relate to yourself, your work, and others. Here are five evidence-based strategies I recommend:

Normalize the Stuck: Recognize the signs without judgment. Stuckness is often a developmental signal that something within you needs to shift, not a sign of inadequacy. (Heifetz

& Linsky, 2002)

Slow Down and Reflect: If burnout is present, prioritize recovery. This includes rest,

mindfulness, improved sleep and nutrition, and possible workload realignment. Leaders who pause, think more clearly and solve problems more effectively. (Maslach & Leiter, 2016)

Reconnect to Purpose: Purpose-centered leadership boosts resilience and clarity. Reflect on

what matters to you, what impact you want to have, and what energizes you (George et al., 2007).

Build Restorative Relationships: External perspective from coaches, mentors, or trusted peers can break mental loops and help you see blind spots. Safe relationships reduce isolation and accelerate insight (Lencioni, 2002; Edmondson, 1999).

Do One Brave Thing: You don’t need to change everything overnight. One small, brave action,

a conversation, a boundary, a pause, can disrupt the helplessness loop and rebuild agency (Seligman, 1975).

Final Thought: You Don’t Need to Hustle Your Way Back to Yourself

You don’t need to force your way forward; sometimes the most powerful move is to pause, listen, and shift. Stuckness isn’t failure; it’s your leadership calling you to grow in a new direction.