Leading and Love

Health & Wellness

It usually starts small—buying a pair of shoes on sale or grabbing a gadget you didn’t know you needed. But over time, those seemingly harmless clicks can become a reflex, a coping mechanism, or even a source of stress. If you’ve ever hidden a package from your partner or felt a rush of relief that turned into regret, it might be time to ask: Are you addicted to online shopping?

Consider a couple where one partner feels increasingly anxious about their family’s finances. At first, they joke about the number of boxes arriving at the door. But soon, the laughter fades. The other partner begins to shop secretly—justifying the behavior with discounts, rewards points, or "needing a little treat." What’s really happening? An imbalance is quietly forming—emotional, relational, and financial.

Shopping as a Stress Response

Online shopping addiction, sometimes referred to as Compulsive Buying Disorder (CBD), has been recognized by researchers as a behavioral addiction similar to gambling. The convenience, constant availability, and dopamine boost from making a purchase make online platforms particularly habit-forming (American Journal of Psychiatry, 2020).

It’s not always about the items—it’s about escaping from something else. Boredom, anxiety, loneliness, or even unresolved tension in a relationship can trigger the urge to shop. And when life feels out of control, buying something—anything—can offer a short-lived sense of power.

Balancing the Budget and the Burnout

Online shopping becomes problematic when it starts replacing more meaningful forms of rest or self-care. Instead of having a deep conversation with your partner, you scroll. Instead of going for a walk or calling a friend, you add to cart. These choices, though small, can quietly erode connection and contribute to emotional burnout.

As psychologist April Benson writes in To Buy or Not to Buy, “People don't shop till they drop because they need what they’re buying. They shop because they’re trying to buy a feeling—one that often doesn’t last.” (Benson, 2008)

Imagine a leader who starts every evening with a scroll through shopping apps. What began as a way to “wind down” has turned into two hours of mental clutter and hundreds of dollars in items still unopened. By the end of the month, they’re exhausted, overspent, and still overwhelmed. The solution isn’t just deleting the app—it’s replacing the habit with a deeper kind of rest.

Steps Toward Recovery and Reconnection

1. Notice the triggers. Is it stress from work? A strained relationship? Track your mood before and after you shop.
   
   

2. Create meaningful pauses. Wait 24 hours before purchasing non-essential items. This builds awareness and reduces impulse buying.
   
   

3. Talk about it. Whether it’s with your partner, a friend, or a counselor, speaking openly about the pattern can relieve shame and spark change.
   
   

4. Practice “digital sabbath” habits. Unplugging for a few hours—or a whole day—each week can reconnect you to things that money can’t buy: presence, peace, and purpose.
   
   

From Addiction to Intention

Balance doesn’t mean you stop shopping—it means you shop with clarity. Ask yourself: Is this purchase an investment in my values, or a substitute for something deeper I’m avoiding? Small shifts in awareness can help you reclaim your energy, your money, and your mental space.

Online shopping is designed to be easy—but finding balance in how we use it takes effort. By tuning into your habits and realigning your choices with what truly matters, you can avoid the cycle of burnout and build a lifestyle marked by intention, not impulse.